01 January 2009

Happy Gnaw Year, 2009!

The giant acorn has dropped in Times Square, teeth are chattering, tails are flicking and feet are stomping! That makes 2009 a whole Gnaw Year for squirrels (and the rest of us).

Here are a few resolutions you aren't likely to see squirrels making anytime soon:

1. To let the birds have the best of the pickings at the feeder.
2. To enroll in carpentry school so as to replace, in a workmanlike fashion, any and all wooden parts of decks, roofs, doors and siding that mysteriously got chewed beyond recognition.
3. To never aim for anyone's head when dropping tree nuts, acorns or other large objects (including corncobs), and to apologize profusely if a moving target is hit anyway.
4. To replace any and all expensive, imported and heirloom plantings such as tulip, daffodil and other bulbs that provide a sumptuous buffet al fresco lunch.
5. To be less cute, less disarming, less clever and less endearing and to immediately cease and desist in the brazen stealing of our hearts.

As a species, squirrels have had tens of millions of New Year's Eves and New Year's Days.

Resolutions, like nut shells, were made to be broken.


Cactus Jack Splash said...

Happy New Year...hope it is filled with lots of nuts, fruit, seeds, and other good things to eat.

neetzy said...

I'm a first time visitor and I enjoyed your blog! We enjoy our squirrel visitors here in PA.

squirrelmama said...

Cactus Jack, wishing you good riding and good grazing in 2009!!

Neetzy, WELCOME! I have been to PA many times myself and just love the variety of squirrels (and you even have some fantastic groundhogs).